THE RULES OF THE ROAD

Jerry Harkins

Life is tough and getting tougher every day.  If you doubt it, just take a look at Congress, your state legislature or your city council.  People just can't be that stupid; it's the problems the poor dears face that have them flummoxed.  Or maybe they are stupider than they used to be.  In either case, as a public service, I have drawn up a list of pithy guidelines that can be productively applied to almost any problem.  Short of flipping a coin, these may be the best chance you wi ever have to lead a serene life. 

 

Harkins’ Principle:  The default answer to all questions is No.

 

·      Betteridge's Law of Headlines is a corollary that states: “Any headline that ends in a question mark can be answered by the word no.”

 

·      Hinchliffe's Rule of particle physics is another corollary which states, “If a research paper's title is in the form of a yes–no question, the answer to that question will be “no.’”

 

The Peter Principle observes that people in a hierarchy tend to rise to their “maximum level of incompetence.”  Employees are promoted based on their success in previous jobs until they reach a level at which they are no longer competent.

 

Hanlon's Razor is an adage that states “Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.”

 

Murphy’s Law states that anything that can go wrong will.

 

·      Finagle's corollary to Murphy's Law is usually rendered as “Anything that can go wrong, will—at the worst possible moment.”

 

·      O'Toole's corollary of Finagle's Law:  The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.

 

Occam's Razor,  is the scientific principle that “Entities should not be multiplied beyond necessity.” It is often  paraphrased as “The simplest possible explanation is the best one until it is made untenable by the evidence.” 

 

The Pareto Principle states that for many outcomes, 80% of consequences come from 20% of causes.

 

Sayre's Law states, “In any dispute the intensity of feeling is inversely proportional to the value of the issues at stake.” By way of corollary, it adds: “That is why academic politics are so bitter.”

 

Einstein’s Rule:  God is subtle but not malicious.

 

·      Plutarch’s Axiom:  The mills of God grind slowly but they grind exceedingly fine.

 

Parkinson’s Law:  Work expands to fill the time available for its completion.

Rita Mae Brown’s Addendum to Parkinson’s Law:  “If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.”

Howard’s Advisory:  “Never discuss cosmology with someone who thinks the moon is made of green cheese.”

 

Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle:  The precise position and momentum of a particle can never be known simultaneously.  Any attempt to measure them both at a single moment is subject to an error of at least Planck’s Constant, h, divided by 2.

 

Haldane’s Suspicion:  “The universe is not only queerer than we suppose, but queerer than we can suppose.”

 

Kipling’s Absurdity:  A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.

 

Marshall’s Prescription:  “What this country needs is a really good five-cent cigar.”

 

·      Connelly’s Bribe:  “Have a ten-cent cigar, Lawd.”

 

Maslow’s Hammer:  “I suppose it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail.”

 

Riley’s Inference:  “If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck.”  

 

Charlie Brown’s Rule of Life:  “No problem is so big or so complicated that it can’t be run away from!”

 

·      Linus Van Pelt’s Corollary:  “Learning to ignore things is one of the great paths to inner peace.”

 

Gardner’s Adage:  “The society which scorns excellence in plumbing because plumbing is a humble activity, and tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because it is an exalted activity, will have neither good plumbing nor good philosophy. Neither its pipes nor its theories will hold water.” 

 

Archilochus’ Insight: πόλλ' οἶδ' ἀλώπηξ, ἀλλ' ἐχῖνος ἓν μέγα (A fox knows many things, but a hedgehog knows one big thing”).  Archilochus was a fourth century BCE Greek lyric poet.  This line has been in continual use ever since.  It contrasts the broad cleverness of the fox with the narrow defensive strategy of the hedgehog which will prevail in any encounter between them.

 

Holmes Guideline:  When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.

 

 

STILL MORE MICRO ESSAYS

 

Jerry Harkins

 

 

 

LOCKED AND LOADED

 

In its never-ending quest to avoid scrutiny by the New York State Attorney General, the National Rifle Association has declared bankruptcy and hopes to move to Texas.  This is terrible news for its wholly owned subsidiary, the Congress of the United States, which will have to move with its parent company.  Texas is too hot in the summer, too cold in the winter and too dangerous always. There is, however, one saving grace.  Texas is the only place in the world where the average IQ is lower than that of the United States Senate.  There is a reason it calls itself the Lone Star State.  One star is the lowest rating an Amazon product can get.

 

WORDS THAT RHYME WITH TRUMP

 

The house of ump is home to members that are generally dull, blunt, or heavy-handed: three-quarters of English words ending in ump have that in common, and some others are arguable, like jump and pump. As a public service, we present a few of these so that those of our readers who would like to see the Former Guy (aka the Has Been or The Big Loser) immortalized in rhyme can write their own damn poems.

 

BUMP An insignificant protuberance, such as a bump on a log

 

CLUMP  An undifferentiated mass of moist dirt

 

CRUMP A loud thudding sound, especially one made by an exploding bomb

 

DUMP A place to bury waste material

 

FRUMP Dowdy, drab

 

GRUMP Crank, chronic complainer, grouch

 

HUMP A vulgarism

 

JUMP  Hop up and down, going nowhere

 

LUMP Same as clump

 

PUMP Inflate

 

RUMP Buttocks.  Ass.  Also smaller than normal as in the Rump Parliament

 

STUMP Something left after the useful parts have been harvested

 

SUMP a low space that collects undesirable liquids, a bilge 

 

THUMP A dull noise

 

WHEN YOU’RE UP TO YOUR ASS IN ALLIGATORS

 

Trump said he would drain the swamp until someone reminded him how much he liked the pond scum.

 

MEDIOCRITY STRIKES AGAIN

 

The amadáns who preside over sports in the United States have once again made asses of themselves by barring Sha’Carri Richardson from the 100 meter dash at the Tokyo Olympics.  Her offense?  She smoked a joint of marijuana contrary to their sacred teaching.  The morons of the United States Anti-Doping Agency (no relation to the equally moronic U.S. Government) neither know nor care that she smoked it legally in Seattle or that marijuana is not a performance-enhancing drug or that she embodies the charisma of the late, great Flo Jo.

 

BLANKET BOILERPLATE

You’ve all seen those addenda to emails threatening death and damnation to persons reading said emails
unless they are the intended addressee.  As idiotic as they are, they serve the useful purpose of making the intended reader feel privileged in spite of all the evidence pointing to an impoverished life without purpose or prospect.  In the interest of conserving the time and energy of the obviously superior authors of such missives, we offer here alternative messages designed to reflect the tenor of our times.  Feel free to copy and paste them to your own creations.

               BLANKET DISCLAIMER

The reader is advised that this email represents a sincere effort to be understood.  It contains no ambiguous post-literate dingbats, obscure abbreviations or misspellings posing as adolescent puns.  It does not engage in trigger warnings and readers are cautioned that it may contain inadvertent micro aggressions that have not yet been brought to the author's attention and for which your indulgence is sought. It employs conventional American punctuation in a conventional way.  With apologies to anyone unaccustomed to reading anything more complex than a stop sign, it does not communicate in emoticons.  Colons, semi-colons and periods should not be taken to imply emotional or political content. Thank you.

BLANKET APOLOGY

The writer offers his profound apologies to any reader who is offended or discomforted by any fact, opinion, implication or inference drawn by any reader to anything, explicit or otherwise, in this text.  He is aware that words, numbers and symbols have meanings that may be considered hurtful to sensitive readers and he wishes to assure all readers that he did not intend to convey any such meanings or any meanings at all.  He also knows that the road to *!&# is paved with good intentions.

BLANKET THOUGHTS & PRAYERS

Whether explicitly mentioned in the text or not, the reader can be assured that he, she, they, other or prefer-not-to-answer is always in the thoughts and prayers of the writer.  The author knows that God’s boundless love will continue to encompass sinners of every stripe but worries that he may have dozed off sometime after the turn of the millennium.  Which is why said thoughts and prayers are always accompanied by a Korean Boy Band.  The author disclaims any knowledge of Korean Boy Bands except that they are loud.  He is a lifelong admirer of Korea, Koreans and their culture as he is of all Asians and, of course, Pacific Islanders. 

            HE AIN’T HEAVY, FADAH, HE’S MY BRUDDA

 

 

 

The suits at CNN fired Chris Cuomo for the heinous crime of trying to help his brother in an hour of need. Blood may be thicker than water but is not as thick as the heads of boob tube executives.

 

 

 

A PIECE OF MY MIND

 

Jerry Harkins

 

 

 

Every day, millions of citizens sit down to write nasty letters to corporate executives,  newspaper editors, politicians and religious leaders, all of whom have more important things to do than to read the pathetic musings of disgruntled, uninformed constituents.  These are called “crackpot letters” because they cannot be answered with the truth for any number of reasons.  For example, the truth often creates a legal liability resulting in a multiyear vacation at the expense of the state.  Or it may give offense resulting in public shaming or involve trafficking in trade secrets which may result in a visit from uneducated knuckle-draggers.  Of course, it may simply be nobody’s damn business.  Truth is a highly overrated virtue yet these letters must be answered.

 

In days of yore, the brightest, most bushy-tailed IBM recruits were assigned as Administrative Assistants to Tom Watson's office specifically to gain high level experience by answering what they routinely referred to as "fuck you" letters.  It was assumed –– correctly –– that anyone who was dissatisfied with any of IBM's products, services or policies was a knave, a fool or worse and could not be persuaded by logic, evidence or reasoning.  Thus, the response had to be polite, solicitous and sympathetic without, however, admitting liability or costing IBM additional money or bother.  A further requirement was that the response had to be as close as humanly possible to The Standard Answer, a collection of sentences and phrases drafted by the Legal Department and designed to fit almost any problem.  After all, answering crackpot letters would otherwise have been prohibitively time-consuming and expensive.  Finally, it was widely known that the young man who could find an answer to the most difficult letters had his dossier flagged as a fast tracker.  Here is an almost perfect generic IBM response to a generic complaint:

 

Mr. Watson has received your letter of the 9th and asked me to reply in his absence.  IBM takes customer service very seriously, so he was distressed to learn of your recent experience.  He wants to assure you personally that steps will be taken to prevent the recurrence of even the most minor faults in this area.  He also asked me to reiterate how highly he values the relationship IBM has enjoyed with you and looks forward to a renewed sense of partnership between us.

 

Note that, except for the date of complainant’s letter, every single word, phrase and sentence is straight out of The Standard Answer.  The writer did not spend much time, if any, actually reading the complaint.  A quick scan was sufficient.  The genius of this letter is its use of the actual date of the incoming missive, the magic word personally and the flattering phrase sense of partnership.  It leaves the reader with a feeling of completion but also a vague sense of guilt for causing distress to such a busy executive as Mr. W.  The customer easily reads between the lines that heads are going to roll and so is satisfied.  He can tell his wife, his mistress and his golfing buddies that not even IBM can fuck around with him.  You can almost hear him, “Yeah, as Tom said to me, ‘Fred, you know how hard it is to find decent people.’”  Listeners would assume this observation was made at the Nineteenth Hole after Fred and Tom had played a bracing round of golf.

 

Of course, it is rare that a satisfactory reply can be made without some minimal  reference to the specific complaint of the writer.  This does not have to be a major burden even if it does mean actually reading the complaint.  Here is an example taken from historical archives:

 

Dear Mr. Job:

 

God has received your letter of the 9th and has asked me to reply in his absence.  As you know, we take justice and mercy very seriously up here so he was quite distressed to learn of your dissatisfaction with some of his recent decisions.  He wants to assure you personally that steps will be taken to restore any 

property you may have lost, to include cattle and sheep, through inadvertent actions on his part.  You understand, of course, that even God cannot restore your old family after such an extended period of time.  If his review concludes that your family was destroyed unfairly, he will provide you with a new, improved model wife and children at no cost to you.  He wants to assure you that he greatly values the relationship he has enjoyed with you and all the Uzians and looks forward to a renewed sense of worship within your community.

 

The score for this letter is 73.5% and, as you can see, by substituting the word Sodomites for Uzians, the same letter could have been sent to Lot.  There are some nice touches here including the exculpatory phrase inadvertent actions.  Again, you see that marvelous word personally.  Of necessity, partnership must be sacrificed but relationship is almost as good.  Note that the writer says that God will provide a new family at no cost to you.  It must have been tempting to add except for shipping and handling but the decision was that that might have been perceived as tacky.  You may think it was unnecessary to forego the added revenue but your balance sheet is probably not as impressive as God’s.  The stick in this letter is the call for a renewed sense of worship but it is so delicate that even the most sensitive complainant would be hard pressed to take more than mild umbrage.  Nit pickers will point out that the complaint required the admission that there is something that God cannot do but, overall, this is a very solid effort.

 

There is, of course, no escaping the reality that many crackpot letters require a more adversarial reply.  The rules still apply, although in a somewhat watered down form.  Avoid the truth.  Admit nothing.  Never lose a viable customer even if retaining him involves more stick than carrot.  And remember, subtlety is your most valuable tool in gaining closure.  Among our collection in the Hall of Fame is this superb example:

 

Your recent letter to Don Vincenzo “Mad Dog” Gigante regarding your unfortunate kneecapping incident has been forwarded to me for reply.  As I am sure you know, the Don is discommoded at present and is likely to remain so for the next 10 to 15 years.  He has, however, taken an active personal interest in your situation.  While he wishes you a full and speedy recovery, he is mildly taken aback by your suggestion that violence was not called for.  “Is it possible,” he asked me, “that the father of my godson does not realize the extent of his folly?  Or that his actions required me to illustrate that folly to other members of my family?”  Of course I reassured him on both these concerns (which, needless to say, puts my knees on the line for you).  I also told him how grateful you are that your crown jewels were spared, and he asked me to convey his best wishes to your lovely wife.

 

With due allowance for the fact that the writer did not have the advantages of a liberal arts education, it must be admitted that the letter contains an elegant balance of concern for a valued employee with just the right touch of putting the fear of God into his thick head.  It is not always possible to respond with such warmth.  For example:

 

Dear Dr. Lewinsky:

 

Your recent letter to former President Clinton has been referred to this desk for reply.  Please be advised that the Secret Service takes an active interest in all letters containing references to attorneys, press representatives and the like.  After scanning them for biological and chemical agents, the Service routinely undertakes a full psychological profile of the sender and conducts an in-depth investigation of his or her personal, financial and sexual histories.  This is being brought to your attention because you may have forgotten that in this age of email and wireless communications, your privacy may not be as private as it once was.  The President asked this office to convey his fondest regards to you, Mrs. Lewinsky and your friend, the well endowed Ms. LaRue.

 

There is nothing in this letter that could be construed as an explicit threat but the use of the third person “this desk” establishes the required storm warning tone.  The casual mention of several kinds of “in-depth investigations” is worthy of the finest Italian hand.  The reference to “Ms. LaRue” immediately after the reference to Mrs. Lewinsky is an earnest regarding the suggestion contained in the preceding sentence.  Note that the writer does not claim to be a member of the Secret Service, nor does he identify exactly what “this desk” represents.

 

Many complaints are handwritten and, whether printed or cursive, are indecipherable.  No problem! Remember, it is not necessary that you actually read these letters, much less reply with an intelligent and relevant answer.  Merely make some assumptions about the age and intelligence of the writer as did this masterful young assistant:

 

Dear Sir or Madam,

 

Senator Clinton has read your recent email protesting against various of her positions.  She was truly surprised to note such an impressive  vocabulary in a 9-year old, and she has taken steps to have your contribution published in The Congressional Record, a copy of which will be mailed to your proud parents and to your local newspaper.  I apologize for all the “expletives deleteds” but the Record insists on adhering to an almost Victorian standard of family values.

 

The day you begin your assignment, you should obtain a copy of the Manual of Reply Letters published by the IRS and written by an obscure but highly experienced Assistant Deputy Commissioner.  This naturally requires Top Secret clearance but it can be revealed that it was developed with the assistance of the IBM Marketing Department.  Illicit copies are easy to obtain because the Manual has been widely distributed within the bureaucracy.  Simply inquire at your local office of the Bureau of Labor Statistics or the Forest Service depending on your location.  The masterpiece of this collection is:

 

To Taxpayer 000-00-000:

 

No.

 

Sincerely,

OX4372,

Asst Reg Dir, SecXR40

 

cc:  Terminal Resolutions Agency

 

The “OX4372” signature line was hand-signed in red ink to add a personal touch.  Another way to do this is to add a note of levity:

 

Dear Taxpayer:

 

I almost regret the necessity of informing you that you cannot deduct the $5,000 you paid for Ms. LaRue’s necklace.  However, all our agents got a really good belly laugh out of your request.  We must, of course, report your purchase to our colleagues in your state tax bureau but we will probably not inform Mrs. Taxpayer of your indiscretion.

 

We hope these suggestions will prove helpful.  However, pease note:

 

The advice contained in this essay is not guaranteed and the writer assumes no responsibility for any adverse experience the reader encounters as a result of it use.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TORTURE BY TWEET 

Jerry Harkins

  “The principle that there is a presumption of innocence in favor of the accused is the undoubted law, axiomatic and elementary, and its enforcement lies at the foundation of the administration of our criminal law.”

                                                                   ––Coffin v. United States, 156 U.S. 432 (1895).  

  

Let me begin with a confession:  I like Andrew Cuomo.  A bit rough around the edges, maybe, but he gets good things done.  Among other things, he has done a better job of managing the covid pandemic than anybody else I can think of.  He is the least ideological politician we have and, while he does fib occasionally, he is the most truthful and most transparent disciple of Niccolo Machiavelli currently working.  Which is to say he’s a realist, a pragmatist and an empiricist.  Unlike his father, he will never be elevated to the sainthood.  Rather, he is the all-American boy, collecting and restoring muscle cars and riding Harley-Davidson hogs.  What’s not to like?

For some reason, however, not everyone agrees with my assessment.  Throughout his career, he has inspired an undercurrent of dislike, distrust and outright hostility.  I think it’s his style.  He is aggressive, dismissive and demanding.  He does not suffer fools lightly.  Recently, he has encountered a tsunami of criticism from all sides of the political spectrum.  The talking heads and pundits are jumping all over him.  A bipartisan group of legislators are crying (in one case, literally) for his scalp.  Among other things, he is being accused of sexual misbehavior in a classic case of she-said-he-said.  Several women have accused him of making them “uncomfortable.”  One says he kissed her on the lips, another that he touched her arm. One claimed he asked her for a date, or at least she felt that was what he was doing.  If true, these offenses were offensive but perhaps not in the same class as Harvey Weinstein or Jeffrey Epstein.

Let there be no doubt that women in our society are often the victims of disgusting male behavior.  Misogyny is and always has been prevalent and prominent in human society.  Charles Darwin to the contrary notwithstanding, there does not seem to be any selective advantage our species can derive from it.  Yet it is not a mystery.  Men derive much of their self-regard from their imagined sexual prowess but women are in a position to judge the reality of that prowess. In other words, there is a significant source of anxiety built into the male-female relationship.  There is also a power differential that serves to alleviate that anxiety and, of course, that works in favor of the male.  Much of what Cuomo’s accusers are complaining about seems to derive from the macho perception of him, an image he cultivates.  But sexual abuse at the level they describe does not account for all the current antipathy.

Take, for example, the case of the Honorable Ron Kim, the representative of the 40^th Assembly District in the state legislature.  Mr. Kim was one of the first Democrats to call for Cuomo’s resignation on the grounds that he ordered hospitals to discharge certain elderly covid patients back to the nursing homes they had been living in.  He basically admitted it, explaining that there was a critical shortage of hospital beds needed for sicker patients.  It’s complicated and it was a difficult decision but Honorable Kim takes it as evidence of mass murder.  Kim seems to be making a name for himself as Jack the giant killer.

If this sudden outpouring of accusation were football, you would call it “piling on” and it would draw a penalty of fifteen yards and an automatic first down.  Without making any judgment about the validity of the claims, the sudden emergence of so many different criticisms is bound to raise the antennas of conspiracy theorists.  That, of course, is highly unlikely.  We are witnessing not anything organized and choreographed.  No one is blatantly lying.  Rather, it seems to be a natural process that has evolved in the age of social media, a process in which molehills are converted into mountains at warp speed.  The claims have to escalate if they are to keep the story alive in the real media.  One thing is certain: there will be more accusations about more matters as the story unfolds and they will get progressively more graphic.  On March 25, 2021, the New York Times ran a front page story based on anonymous sources saying that Cuomo had illegally arranged covid tests for members of his family at the outset of the pandemic.  This was not news because the Governor had announced it himself at a news conference a few days after the tests were done.  At the time, he was desperately trying to arrange testing for everyone and he figured his 89-year old mother would make a good selling point.  A week later, again on the front page, it accused him of “…pitching a book proposal that would center on his image as a hero of the pandemic” and asking his secretary for help in said pitching.  Heinous!

Just possibly, Andrew Cuomo is toast.  After four years of Trumpism, it may be difficult to recall that the left can be just as doggedly stupid as the right.  It seems neither side ever learns anything from reality.  The Democrats seem to have forgotten their fiasco in driving Al Franken out of the U.S. Senate.  And virtually all the pols actually liked Al who also stood accused, a la Cuomo, of making women uncomfortable.  First, it was one woman talking about an unwanted kiss she had received eleven years before.  Soon it was seven women with similar complaints and eventually nine came forward.  Franken was forced to resign a breathtaking twenty-one days after the first allegation.  Senator Schumer engineered the ouster apparently telling Franken there was no time for due process.  Franken later said, “The idea that anybody who accuses someone of something is always right—that's not the case. That isn't reality.”  Apparently, Al has forgotten Napoleon’s instruction to the pigs in George Orwell’s Animal Farm.  Asked how to tell friends from enemies, he says it’s easy:  “Four legs good, two legs bad.”

Schumer’s idea that due process was untimely is truly extraordinary in an America that constantly brags about being a nation of laws.  In the modern era, we have become a nation whose politics are more like a bull fight than a deliberative process.  El Toro has no chance of surviving the afternoon.  Before the sun goes down, he is going to be tortured to death.  That’s what the customers are paying for, cheering for.  Ole!  Even if he sometimes slays his torturer, even if the spectators applaud his courage, his own death is fore-ordained.  The fiercer he acts, the more they will applaud both his courage and his death.  It is all an act.  As Ernest Hemingway wrote, “All supposed exterior signs of danger that a bull gives, such as pawing the ground, threatening with his horns, or bellowing are forms of bluffing.”  Now this is a metaphor and, like all metaphors, it limps.  But not before we note that the matador, while hardly a hero, is almost always a decent, God-fearing family man, an Everyman acting in a monster-slaying scripted role that leaves no room for improvisation.  Bull fighting and sex abuse scandals are both forms of the medieval morality play.

 

If you doubt this, you can go back and read the coverage of past sex abuse scandals.  All but the most monstrous look alike.  The same headlines, the same vocabulary, the same development of the story line, the same presumption of guilt, the same innocence of the victims.  Only the names have changed.  Then compare the sex abuse coverage to the mass murder coverage which has its own set piece architecture.  You are bound to hear all the usual claptrap about thoughts-and-prayers, guns-don’t-kill-people and the need for common sense gun control.  Whether its sex abuse or mass murder, what the reader gets is tragedy reduced to melodrama.  The tragedy is, first, the anguish of the victims but it is also the rush to judgment and the formulaic attention paid to an important issue in our society.  If Napoleon were advising today’s thought leaders, he might borrow from the Red Queen.  “Off with his head!  Sentence first, trial later.”  

 

The cause of all this is the phenomenon of social media.  Platforms like Facebook, Twitter and their competitors provide an extreme version of freedom of expression.  Not only do they let you shout pretty much whatever comes into your head, they magnify your impact by reaching a vast audience instantaneously.  With billions of users, there are sure to be millions of believers.  Never before has communication spread so rapidly and so immediately after it has been sparked. Never before has the content of communication been spread without a moment’s pause for consideration of its believability.  In the new information environment, an untested assertion will be accepted as truth first by the credulous among us and soon by many others.  The life cycle of any assertion is predictable.  Once loose on the internet, it is certain to be picked up by the conventional media which gives it gravitas and credibility.  

 

You remember Virginia O’Hanlon’s father who told her, “If you see it in The Sun, it’s so.”  On September 21, 1897, that newspaper replied to her inquiry by writing, “Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.”  The most famous editorial in journalistic history was a lie told to an 8-year old child.  At least, it was a harmless –– perhaps a charming –– lie.  Less charming are the political lies we have come to know in the social media.  These give life to the guidelines for the of Big Brother’s Ministry of Truth:  Make your lie big enough and repeat it often enough.  All lies, of course, corrupt the truth and degrade the idea of self-government.  By normalizing a culture of untruth, they stain even the most righteous of causes.

 

There is a class of problems that have no technical solution.  Women must be heard with respect and the value of free expression must be protected.  At the same time, we must not lose the assumption of innocence.  There may come a time when such balances are easier to strike but, at the moment, it seems that something precious will have to give ground.

 

Subsequently

 Two months after this essay was published, the New York State Attorney General released her report on the allegations against the Governor.  They were damning and called on him to resign or be impeached.  In this, the report was endorsed by virtually all Democrats from President Biden on down.  We will now witness the state spending millions of dollars to impeach and convict him.  A waste of time and money:  they have long since announced his guilt.  It would have cheaper to hand him over to Pontius Pilate.  Oh, yes, one more thing:  the Attorney General under whose aegis the report was produced later announced her own candidacy for Governor.  I trust no one was surprised.

Still later, like Al Franken, Cuomo resigned while protesting his innocence, his brother got fired for saying nice things about him and the pols tried unsuccessfully to prevent him from publishing his memoirs.  Almost lost in all the excitement, was the withdrawal of Attorney General Letitia "Tish" James from the race for Governor.  As always, Albany remained inscrutable.